Beware, beware for you have just entered Chilling Chimpchester!
Every city has its dark side and Chimpchester is no different. Down its dingy backstreets and lurking along its lanes, Chimpchester is home to some frightful characters and creatures.
This side of the city is not for the feint hearted. If you haven’t the stomach or strength to walk these cobbled streets alone, there’s still time to flee…..otherwise, take a deep breath and see what you find…or what finds you….
Writing down his premonitions....
In the depths of Chimpchester Monastery, many hundreds of years ago, the mysterious monk Nostrachimpus found himself having strange dreams that told him of future events. In the middle of the night he would wake up suddenly and write down the dreams in the form of riddles before he forgot them.
His fellow monks thought he was mad, and laughed at his wild warnings, but he continued with his work and hid his manuscripts inside the monastery so that it could be discovered hundreds of years after he had died.
Many scholars have studied his work, and to their shock and fascination have found that Nosrachimpus predicted many major world events years, or even centuries before they happened. He predicted the destruction of the monastery by King Chimpry VIII, he predicted the Great Fire of Chimpchester, the Civil War, the Plague, the Chimp the Ripper murders and even predicted the First and Second World Wars.
Strangely, Nostrachimpus didn’t appear to predict his own death, where he was chased by a swarm of bees across several fields but fell over an upturned bucket and banged his head on a rock, causing him to die a few days later.
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Dr Chimpson pursues one of the Sewer Dwellers
For hundreds of years the residents of Chimpchester have heard stories about the ‘Sewer Dwellers’ living underneath the city. Some of the stories talk about an ‘underclass’ of chimps living underground in their own world, occasionally rising up on to the city streets in the dead of night to steal food, steal belongings and murder unsuspecting citizens. Some stories say that they’re not chimps but strange creatures who inhabit the sewers.
Few people have seen them, and those that have done only caught quick glimpses. Some residents claim to have seen sets of eyes watching them through the grids in the road, or claim to have heard whispering as they’ve passed by.
In 1880 Dr Chimpson, one of the citys most famous detectives, entered the sewers to hunt the dwellers down. He claimed to have seen one of the dwellers and pursued it on foot through the foul stench of sewage in the tunnels. After he went out of sight witnesses heard gunshots, but never saw Dr Chimpson ever again.
With such a rich historic past it’s not surprising that Chimpchester has more than its fair share of ghosts and ghouls. Whilst you’re visiting Chimpchester why not take the Chimpchester Ghost Walk, which departs from Blackchimp’s Lane under the guidance of tour guide Archibald. Not only will you learn about the ghosts lurking in the shadows of the city, but you may just see one?
Click on the picture above to take the walk, or click here
Witchfinder General Chimpkins at Work
In 17th Century Chimpshire, folklore said that witches gathered on Chimpdle Hill and worshipped the devil. Any chimps that suffered bad luck blamed it on witchcraft. If your sheep herd caught a disease, blame the witches. If you fell over and broke your leg, blame it on a witch’s curse. Few people appeared to have actually seen a witch, but a hysteria soon gripped the county.
The establishment at the time became concerned at what was going on up North and greatly feared the widespread witchcraft that appeared to be taking hold of Chimpshire. A Witchfinder General, Matthew Chimpkins was despatched to track down these witches and restore godliness to the land.
When Chimpkins arrived in Chimpchester he immediately set out to the surrounding villages and began the hunt. He sneaked from window to window, looking for evidence of a witch at work at a cauldron, concoting a potion. Strangely he didn’t have much luck as he could only catch a few chimps cooking a hot pot. He kept looking. Any single female chimp, especially if she was quite old, was in the firing line. If the chimp also had a pet cat, it met the stereotype and her fate was all but sealed. Local chimps who were in dispute with single female chimps used the position to their advantage and fed false rumours to Chimpkins which he used as evidence.
Chimpkins saw himself as a fair chimp. He wouldn’t simply punish the chimp witches without some sort of trial. There was no need for defence lawyers, torture was a good way of deciding guilt. His favourite test was to tie a rope around the alleged witch and throw her in to the River Chimpwell. If she sank she was innocent, but if she floated she was guilty. For the “witch” on trial it was most definitely a ‘no-win’ situation.
For those branded as witches, punishment was to be burnt at the stake on the top of Chimpdle Hill, the place where witches were said to congregate. Crowds watched the grisly sights and Chimpkins delighted in the screams of his victims.
Today it’s said that witches still gather on Chimpdle Hill, especially on Halloween. If you’re brave enough to take a walk up there in the dark, you never know what you might find…
Bodysnatchers at work in the dead of night
They ply their trade in darkness in the dead of night….
In the afternoon the grieving relatives of a chimp bury the poor deceased chimp’s body in the church cemetery. Prayers are said, and there’s a lot of crying. At least the poor chimp will be at peace now forever more….
And yet a few hours later, after night has fallen, dark figues scurry across the grim spooky graveyard, shovel in hand. Listening out for signs of someone coming the two dark figures begin shovelling soil from the new grave. They work fast, keen not to get caught. After minutes of frantic digging their shovel causes a thud as it hits the wooden coffin. Using a crowbar they prise the lid off with a creak, revealing the body wrapped in cloth. Ankle deep in mud they lift the heavy body over the parapet and on to the ground of the graveyard, and carry it away in to the shadows. Behind them they leave a trail of destruction for the bereaved to discover in the morning.
Carrying the body through the back alleys of the city the two chimps arrive at a doctors house. After dumping the body on a slab in the cellar they take their payment and disappear off in to the night. The poor chimp, only just buried will now be used for anatomy experiments.
In 1828 there was a shortage of bodies for medical and scientific experiments. Although executed chimps had been previously used, a decrease in the number of executions left a shortage of bodies for this purpose, and many doctors of ill repute resorted to using bodysnatchers to raid the recent graves of the deceased, dig them up and deliver them to them. Some doctors even resorted to murder in order to supply the freshest corpses.
In the 1820s even in death a Chimp was not guaranteed peace and rest!
